Final Thoughts on India Masala Mixed with Final Photos of South India (Kerala)

I apologize if this blog entry sounds erratic, disjointed, or chaotic. But trying to describe India with words is an impossible task. And trying to leaves my senses erratic, disjointed, and chaotic. How do you describe a country of 1.1 billion people that is so varied with 18 recognized languages (and also an additional 1600 dialects or other languages), a land that founded the religions of Hinduism (1000 years before Christ), Buddhism, Sikhism and Jainism, and a country which is always on full blast and doesn't know how to turn off the 'on' switch?
A traditional Kathakali performance in Kerala. Performers put on exquisite customs and makeup, they communicate through hand gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements and tell a story. We saw a 1.5 hour performance, a fragment of an original performance which is about 9 hours long going from dusk till dawn. The performers are all male (continue reading the blog for a bit of the misogynistic culture that exists here). They're also all Indian, but you probably knew that already.
And with me having spent only 2 months here, by no means do I have a full understanding of what this country is all about. I don't think anyone could fully understand, grasp, or describe it, and this includes people who've lived their entire lives here. Whenever I talk to other travellers about describing India, there's always a universal conclusion that unless you've been here and experienced it, it's impossible to put into words for other people to understand. If you've been here, you know what I'm saying. But I'll try anyway, to give you some of what I've absorbed from a truly mind blowing country.
this is one of our favorite rickshaw drivers, Selvam. He took us to tea and spice plantations and even gave us a complimentary tour. He sort of looks like a younger, short, brown Santa. I call him Selvam Claus.
Nothing is ever what it seems. Always expect the unexpected, and you still will be caught offguard. If you don't have patience, you'll never survive. If you do have patience, you'll lose it pretty quickly. You are never alone. Personal space is non-existent, it's a vicious rumour.
The Backwaters of Kerala, so peaceful, calm, and beautiful.....but somewhere around the corner, India lurks

Unfortunately, the human race for the most part is a male dominated one. But the misogyny is pretty blatant here. Women are treated as second class citizens. For example, there are very few bars in this country, with most being in hotels (liquor licenses are a bureaucratic nightmare.....but so is everything government or official out here). But the few local watering holes that exist, are a total brodeo (by the way, alcohol takes a real effort to get...but that's a story for a different day). Bro-deo meaning no women allowed. In the streets you see men standing around holding hands, hugging each other, stroking each others arms (everything short of dry humping, but it's not a gay thing. Seriously, it's just how it is), but you won't see as many women in the streets. They're at home working and cooking (these last 2 sentences are a big generalization, but this opinion is greatly shared). The Hindu religion (82% of India's population) has some archaic practices (for this westerner's opinion) still in use today. Although this is illegal, dowry (bride's family has to pay the groom's family in order for her to marry him - something around $1500 I believe) still exists. Since having a daughter is an expensive proposition, you'll hear of instances where baby girls are aborted or murdered to avoid paying future dowry. A baby girl is too expensive. An even crazier practice (also up for opinion) that is also illegal is sati. In the Hindu religion, bodies are cremated in an open funeral pyre. Sati occurs when a husband dies, and the wife is burned alive along with the dead husband. Sometimes forcibly pushed in by a Brahmin priest. I'm not sure what the percentage of occurence is for daughter murdering or sati. I think and hope that it's a low amount, but I do know that it exists.
on a tea plantation in the Keralan highlands

The caste system (another thing that's also illegal) and the caste you are born into, are pretty much your permanent economic status for the rest of your life in society. If your father was a merchant, you will be a merchant. If your father worked for Indian Railways, you will work for Indian Railways...and so on. The lowest caste is the untouchables, and it's very difficult for these people to move upwards in society. Some have to resort to begging as their only source of income. Now get this, some parents, in order to give their children better opportunities to collect while begging, have their children's legs permanently maimed and broken. You'll see these paralyzed beggars on dollies rolling themselves up the street, or in the aisles of trains, pulling their torsos and dilapitated, functionless legs with their arms, along the train carriage floor.
One of the lovely tea plantation ladies. This one asked for us to send her a copy of the photos we took. Wanted to explain the whole 'emailing photos' thing, but that would just create more cultural confusion. Also, this photo has nothing to do with beggars, just needed to put it somewhere.
India has some of the most aggressive, pushy, touts in the world. In a great book about Bombay called Maximum City, there's a funny and appropriate quote about the merchant class in Bombay 'Anyone can work hard and make money, but a well executed scam, now that's a thing of beauty.' If you think you're being taken for a ride, you probably are. And if you don't think you're being taken for a ride, you most definitely are. I find the best way to deal with touts is to take the game to them. I find talking gibberish, talking fast, or asking them the tourist questions before they have a chance to ask you, or asking them for money or to buy something that you have - so, it's basically confusing them to throw them off their game. But in the end, the touts usually enjoy this, and when we're in a town for awhile, we end up being the tout's and rickshaw driver's favorites. I think to them, it's for the pure entertainment value (finally I've found a use for being an obnoxious, sarcastic American).
Sevlam, Emerson, me and Genevieve , making America proud, chilling with some masala chai.
But never just walk away trying to ignore them. They'll follow you down the street for 30 minutes.
Another fun game is the stare off. Indians are notorious for staring. But with enough practice, you can out stare any Indian into bobble-heading submission. 2 months of practice, dedication, and hard work will make you a pro. If you find me staring at you non-stop when I go home, it's because I spent time in India.
The food in India is a spice lover's dream (sooooo good). Even spicier in the south. Just how we like it. And I'm amazed, I never got sick here. I think that from travelling in third world countries for so long, I pretty much have every food germ in my body that is known to mankind. I think the food germs get sick from being around me.
one of my favorite activities, eating thalis
Some other random thoughts.
Don't come to India after March, it's just too damn hot.
For some reason, the holiest Indian Hindu sights, towns, and rivers, are always the most polluted and trashed. Seems like an oxymoron to me.
Jew Town? Am I in India?
The north and south are very different. Even though the north is more frantic, I prefer it to the south. I might not be painting a pretty picture here of India to you. But the things that stick out the most in my mind are the culture-shocking things that I can't find in my own country. To me India is alive. It's always blitzkrieging you with colors, smells, tastes, sounds. I find everything to be amazing, the good, the bad, and the incredibly difficult all go hand in hand. There seems to be an underlying current of rhythm to the chaos here. And I feel myself getting addicted to the heartbeat of this place. I can see how some people hate it here. It's not an easy place to travel and many things that you see are hard to digest. But for me, it's the antithesis of anything normal, which is what makes it feel (and me) so alive. I like the north because it's more colorful, more festive (and it seems, festivals happen on a daily, if not hourly, occurrence), more visually stimulating (the architecture, the forts, the temples, the contrasting environment, the colorful clothing....this is all a matter of opinion). Hmmm, I'm reading this, and realizing there is no way to describe in words what I've seen and absorbed (as well as I've realized I've used 19 parantheses including this one). Most people either love or hate India. No one is indifferent. For moi (that's French for 'me'....20 parantheses if you're keeping score at home), my feeling is that I'm mesmerized by it. So maybe that's how I should leave it. It's a place you don't describe, but a place you experience. And my experience is different from anyone elses.
going for a hike up a hill to catch sunset, village kids shouting 'hullo, hullo!', and stopping to chat with them.

This one quote I read in the newspaper the other day is a good analogy for India. In describing a construction project that's been wrought with delays and conflict, the reporter wrote, 'making the difficult impossible is the Indian way.' That's so funny, and so true.
Typical scene at a rickshaw accident. Lots of people standing around, lots of yelling and pointing and nothing getting done.
Now I leave my friends Genevieve and Emerson who have another month here in southern India, as I head for Turkey. I'm excited for a new country, new part of the world and new culture. I'm also excited to meet some old friends of mine from the Anderson Lanbridge Foundation to promote their charitable missionary work around the world.
But India, I will return.
A 'Birds of Paradise' plant that we saw at an organic spice farm. I like it cause it's pretty.
But before returning, this will keep me occupied, Dónde está Ché Pelotas?