Wanna be in a movie?

so what's the secret to becoming a southern Indian movie star?Kerala and Tamil Nadu are the most southern states in India. We're currently in Kumily, a hill station on the Kerala side of the border of these two states. Down here, they speak their own languages of either Mayalayam or Tamil (versus speaking in the national tongue of Hindi) Many people know about the movie industry in 'Bollywood' (Mumbai a.k.a. Bombay) which churns out more movies than Hollywood. But did you know about the movie industry in the south, based in the city of Chennai (a.k.a. Madras)? Down here, movies are made in the native Tamil or Mayalayam languages. You see bills posted in all the cities and towns advertising different Tamil flicks currently playing or coming to theatres. We've also seen a few films on the television (mostly while waiting for trains since they've got TV's playing on all the platforms). And it's through all these cultural observations that we've been able to figure out what it takes to be a Tamil movie star.
It seems that if you look like your neighbor or friend's dad, you're the perfect candidate for the male lead. You also must have a thick moustache and resemble a short, chubby Mexican. If this matches your profile, in the film, you will always get the pretty girl, usually food or drink will explode or be thrown in your face, you will have mad kung-fu skills and you'll usually fight a similar looking chubby Mexican dude, like all Indian movies, of course you'll have over the top dance scenes, and you'll typically have other athletic accoutrements in the plot such as winning marathons or being the king of the cricket match. All these superduper things that your friend's chubby moustached dad would never be able to attain in real life (except maybe the food exploding part) would be available to you if you fit this profile. Ron Jeremy would make a killing out here, and perhaps this is what Tamil directors look for when casting for a film.
If you don't believe me, check out all these movie posters:
Recipe for success. Moustache, look Mexican, chubby, pointing fingers, kung-fu action and wet Indian lady.
yes, in the movie, you could win the 'Gameday' trophy
perhaps you could run for office?
Moustached Mexican men always get las senoritas
"Why did you shave your moustache?!?!? I'll karate chop you for that mistake!"
you'll be so famous that you can start fashion trends such as wearing a chain of flip-flops around your neck.
you provide the moustache, we'll provide the sunglasses
the few, the proud, the Moustached Mexican Marines
this guy's old enough to be her father ........
....as well as this girl's dad. he's getting all the fly honeys.......
......but still, despite his moustache macho-ness, he's still so angry that.....
.....he will moustache motocross to prove his moustache manhood.....
....then he will be happy again to concentrate on wet girls half his age.
this is my favorite. Actors here breed by exploding out of other moustache dad's faces. Or this is an add for a Tamil version of 'Alien'.
and your 15 minutes of fame gets extended thanks to DVD sales.
at the bottom are all the moustached papas in the movie. Obviously, the chubbiest one always gets the lead role.
you get the girl, you arm wrestle, you strangle your neighbor, and you get to act with all your similar looking cousins.
but if you want some real international star power, check out Dónde está Ché Pelotas?