Traveling with Hobbits

Frodo and Sam searching for Mordor?

Besides the customary stares and thinking that they’re German tourists, I’ve noticed another trend traveling with the Ristaino’s. Many young Turks affectionately call them ‘Lord of the Rings’. But what these young, gregarious (Turkish for obnoxious) jokers don’t realize is that our Frodo and Sam are truly hobbits on a mission. But not on a mission to destroy the ring, but to search for the sacred honey-flavored ring created by the ‘Lord of the Simit Ring’.
For the back story of the simit, go here. For the back story of Lord of the Rings, call Peter Jackson.
That is why our young hobbit heroes are here in Turkey. To find the Sacred Simit Ring in the land of the simit. Our journey first took us on a boat ride across the cold waters of Lake Van.
Brrrrrr
We traveled to Akdamar Island, sight of a ruined Armenian church rumored to be where the Sacred Simit Ring was first forged.
Sailing under the auspices of the Turkish flag

Sıte where the Sacred Simit was created
On the island, our hairy footed hobbit friends stumbled upon the epitaph of the Cross of the Simit.
Two fully-holed simits flanking the cross at the top in this photo.
This sacred epitaph instructed our heroes that upon entering the church, there is a door to another portal leading to the Lord of the Simit Ring, holder of the Sacred Simit.
The Sacred Simit beckoning us to enter and cross the threshold of the point of no return.
Upon crossing the portal threshold, we were thrust into an eerie alien landscape of jagged limestone cliffs and pockmarked plains with mirages of swirling simits in the air.
Eerie and tasty
The Lord of the Simit Ring is rumored to be a red-coated Turkish woman residing in a phallic ruin.
We climbed the Van Kalesi Castle ruin searching for the Lord of the Simit Ring,
and were greeted by Kurdish locals.
We asked them, 'where do we find the Lord of the Simit Ring, the holder of the almighty and powerful Sacred Simit Ring? '
The red-coated Lord that we are searching for
The old and wise Kurdish woman told us, 'The Lord of the Simit Ring doesn’t reside at Van Kalesi anymore. She is thought to be working her delicious, honey sweetened, sesame sprinkled Simit Magic in Iran, which is 75 km east of here as the crow flies.'
That’s when we realized our quest was harder than we ever imagined.
Since neither Americans nor hobbits are given tourist visas to enter Iran, entry into Iran would be quite a challenge. And if you’ve got the double-whammy distinction of being American hobbits like our heroes Frodo and Sam Ristaino, the search for the Sacred Simit could have dire consequences.
75 km east to Iran
So that’s where we leave our hobbit friends.
On a strange and foreign landscape, in their never ending quest for The Lord of the Simit Ring.

For another sacred pilgrimage, check out Dónde está Ché Pelotas?