how to say bread and not penis in portugese

ok, here´s a quick portugese lesson. if you know any spanish, words that you read or see might make sense, but when pronounced sound totally different.
lesson 1: the letter ´r´is pronounced like an ´h´. so rio de janiero is pronounced ´heeooo je jsanero´. also, you´ll notice that d´s are pronounced like ´j´s. so the word ´restaurante´, which in spanish sounds like ´restaurante´, is actually pronounced ´heees-tau-ranzche´. does that make sense? yeah, me neither.
lesson 2: if a word has an ´ã´in it, it´s pronounced with a sort of nasally ´n´to it. for example the word for bread is ´pão´, which is pronounced ´poowwng´. so if you want bread with cheese, or in portugese ´pão de quejo´, it is pronounced ´poowwng je quezho´. this is quite important pronouncing the ´ã´correctly, because in the case of ´pão de quejo´, if you pronounce it ´paauu de quejo´, the word ´pau´is slang for penis. henceforth, if you ask for ´pau de quejo´, you´re asking for dick and cheese, as i found out a couple times in rio.
sometimes it´s better to point.

anyway, i´ve been to ilha grande (great secluded island with no motor vehicles, and also no atm´s which can be a problem if you don~t plan ahead), and i´m in paraty right now. did a boat beach tour which was pretty rad. brazil is very lush and green along the coast, and the forests are thick and tropical. but if you can find a way to get to the secluded parts, you have perfect white sand beaches all to yourself.
i highly recommend it.

till next time - tudo bem, tudo bom