An Open Plea to My Fellow Americans

My fellow Americans, a desperate situation has arisen that necessitates the efforts of all Americans back home to remedy the situation. Everyday before going to work at the Refugee Center, I pass by several cambios along the way. And everyday I'm shocked to see the exchange rate of the US dollar plummeting on a daily basis. 2 weeks ago, the exchange rate was 1 USD = 72 Nepali rupees. Today, the rate of the US dollar against the financial powerhouse that is the Nepali rupee, has dwindled down to 68.64 rupees. The dollar has hit a 20 month low against that upstart punk, the Euro, and is almost half the value of the British pound.
Who can resist such marketing strategy as this? The Nepalis are onto something here.

So what does this all mean?
It means I can't spread the American way as easily since my spending power is being continuously reduced. But there's a way that you can help bring pride back to the American dollar. Now this goes against everything I've previously said in the past, and against everything I stand for morally, but I ask you, my fellow American, to do something that we do best.
SPEND MONEY. Spend lots and lots, if not all of it. Spend it on the mindless crap that you don't need. Go crazy with mindless consumerism consumption fever. And stop saving for a rainy day. Global warming is screwing up weather patterns anyway, so stop procrastinating, and spend money now. And more importantly, buy American. I know this is difficult since everything is made in China or in some sweatshop in Southeast Asia, but there are still a few industries that are nearly 100% American. For example, the tobacco industry. For those of you that smoke, stock up and buy more. There's something you can do on a rainy day. For those of you who don't smoke, what are you waiting for? No better time to start than the present.
And then there's the auto industry. Sure our Japanese and German counterparts make better, more reliable, more dependable and overall better designed cars. But look on the bright side, when your Ford or GM breaks down, it'll give yourself more of a chance to spend money on your friendly neighborhood mechanic. Now there's some good honest Americans you can trust. Better yet, buy a plane!! But don't buy that Euro-trash Airbus crap. Get a good old fashioned, American built Boeing. Just picture the look on your neighbors face when your roll into your driveway with a brand spanking new jumbo 747. You'll be the envy of everyone. And while you're at it, buy a house with an oversized garage for your new toy. If you already own, buy a couple more. Get a summer home by the lake and an extra small plane such as a Boeing 757.
So my friends, the time is now. Post Christmas sales are calling you to spend, spend spend, so I can do the same abroad. After all, it is the American way.

Give me liberty, or give me Dónde está Ché Pelotas?