Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Burmese Cultural Observations

The cities in Myanmar (Burma) could be the thirdiest third world cities I've ever been to. Everything is difficult, and patience is the only way to get through. It's a constant test of endurance (mostly mental) and stamina. The country in many ways, is stuck in time. here are some of my cultural observations/travel tips:
- In the major cities of Yangon and Mandalay (5 mil and 1 mil people respectively), at night, the streets are pitch black except for motor vehicle lights. Kids are playing soccer and badminton in the streets while I'm straining to see the feet in front of me. They must have been raised by bats.
- You know the saying, wait till the dust settles. Here, the dust never settles. Constant layer of dust hovering above ground. Let's just say in Charles Schulz's world, Myanmar would be Pig Pen.
- Potholes look like mine field remnants. All roads are bad, and travelling any distance takes 20 times as long as it should. It's not a big country, but because the roads are so narrow, potholed, and filled with obstacles such as people and cattle, going anywhere takes forever.
- This place is poor. Really poor.
- Because it is so poor, unlike most SE Asian countries which are motorbike heavy, transport here is heavily relied on by bicycle. Motorbikes come in second, then old, refurbished US Army jeeps stripped down and rebuilt, are a distant third. You can buy one for $1500. But who knows what's under the hood. It could be Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble's feets.
- Public transport consists of an oversized pickup with bench seats in the back, and people piled on till the wheels are touching the wheel wells. In Mandalay, busses look like they barely survived a nuclear holocaust. For local transport, take a trishaw which is a bicycle with back to back tandem seats attached to it. The driver works hard to pedal your lazy ass around. He works real hard, so pay him well. Bicycles in general look like they come from Henry Ford's generation before he said, "Hey, screw this pedalling crap, I'm gonna invent the car." The roads here were probably paved around the same time as the Model-T was invented.
- Intersections in cities are anarchy, with no stop signs. Trucks, cars, bikes, trishaws, pedestrians, cows, dogs, all enter the intersection at the same time beeping horns or ringing bells. At night it's even worse. Rather than instituting traffic laws, drivers are required to use 'The Force'.
- The steering wheel is on the right side, and they drive on the right side.
- The power always goes out. Guaranteed on a daily basis. Don't know when, and don't know for how long. Surprised it hasn't shut down on this post. Many businesses have back up generators in the front, buzzing 24/7.
- Internet is spotty, hotmail is banned, and big brother is watching.
- I'm amazed at how many people speak English here, but it's possibly because the government regulates where tourists can and can't go. Tourist here are generally older, many German, Dutch or French tour groups, and in smaller towns, far and few between.
- When filling out your visa application, under occupation, do not write down journalist, media reporter or political activist. They'll never let you in.
- Prep your stomach before coming here, especially if eating street food. The germs far outnumber the food particles. And if you're on a long holiday, don't start your trip here, Yangon will knock you out in the first round.
- Women use a lot of face whitener here. You look at them, you know they should look dark, and the whitener makes them look like pale corpses. Sorta like Michael Jackson.
- Men were longyi in lieu of pants or shorts. Look like long hoop skirts, and are quite comfortable.
- Golden stupas are everywhere, in the cities, in the country, in the hills. Most I've ever seen in one area. Beautiful, truly beautiful.
- Bagan is special, and travel up north is generally better.
- Climate in the winter is actually quite pleasant, if not a bit chilly. It's the dust that gets you.
- Power tools are rare. Everything is done by hand including patching roads, which is actually an oxymoron out here.
- The shitty music here, kicks the ass of shitty music elsewhere. I'd bet money on it. Harmony is about as common as a pterydactyl out here.
- Everybody hates the government here. It goes beyond corruption, to military dictatorial rule. There is no middle class. They've all left or are thrown in prison for political dissension. If there is any sense of political dissension in the air, universities are shut, people are thrown in jail, and military force is used. The government has a nice way of shielding everything from the tourists, but if you talk to the people privately, you find out how bad it is.
- Despite it's hardships, I wish I had one more week here to visit some of the ancient cities around Mandalay.

Stay tuned for photos. In the meantime, tune into Dónde está Ché Pelotas?

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