Sunday, April 02, 2006

overnight bus etiquette 101

When taking an overnight bus ride, there are several unwritten rules known by all travellers to abide by. These rules are more akin to Traveller Holy Commandments. Apparently, the Quechuan Argentine sitting next to me on the overnight ride last night from Mendoza in Seat 44 (that's right punk, I'm calling you out) didn't attend Bus Etiquette 101 prior to travelling. This prevented me, as well as others around us from getting any sleep.
Ok, so great, you've got a new phone, I'm really excited for you. But must you go through all the different ring alert options at full blast? Actually this wasn't so bad of an issue compared to your other violations. Even though this action is unholy, it's tolerable, similar to Catholic religion allowing molestation. However, must you play with these sounds at 5 in the morning? This is a gross violation of Traveller Holy Commandments. Don't you notice the rest of the bus is asleep? It's bad enough that you played the stupid games that come with the phone all night, and giggled like a 5 year old each time you made it to the next round. Not to mention the volume on the phone was at full blast, so everyone on the bus knew you made it to the next phase. And oh yeah, in the morning you were still so excited about that stupid 'bricks' game, that you played at 7 in the morning??!? Again, notice other passengers?!??!? And yes, when I poked you in the stomach and said, 'Shhh, por favor!', that means turn the damn thing off. Apparently something got lost in translation, because you proceeded to hand it to your buddy 2 aisles up so he could play and not let anyone sleep. Nor could I reach him to poke the shit out of him. Good strategic move on your part. Glad to see idiots travel in pairs.
Personal space is also a new concept to you. When sitting in your seat, there's an invisible plane that runs vertically from the armrest to the split in the seats in front of us creating a boundary line between passengers. NEVER EVER CROSS THIS PLANE. This includes your arms, knees, your stupid cheesy looking acid washabe jean jacket, your hair, anything and everything. Well your unprovoked preemptive strike was an all out declaration of war. Unfortunately, when I'm in the middle of sleep mode or trying to get sleep, and getting knee'd, elbowed, and under full attack, all I can do is push you back to your side of 'the plane' rather than a full on counterattack.
And when you did manage to sleep, everyone knows when sleeping on your side, don't face the passenger next to you if you don't know them and start making weird breathing noises. You were practically breathing in my ear in combination to your preemptive strike. Sorry to break it to you homeboy, but you ain't my type. And do everyone a favor, never take public transport again.
By the way, these basic rules also apply to planes, trains, and any means of public transportation.


Post a Comment

<< Home